Safety Dance

i know ive mentioned safe words before but i really want to re-enforce just how important they are. In a BDSM relationship control is not taken away from the submissive partner it is instead *given* to the Dominant. This gift of submission and control shouldnt be given lightly without consideration, nor in my opinion should it be given without a safe word or words being in place. Having a safe word allows me to go further into my submission and to participate in more simply because i have the ability to stop it if and when it becomes too much.

In this context a safe word is a word that the submissive partner can use when play becomes too much for them. One quite common group of safe words that are used are Red, Yellow and Green or variations of. Red meaning stop, Yellow meaning slow down and Green meaning more or continue. Any word can be used as a safe word but it is advisable to choose a word that would not normally fit into the context of sex.

It is a common misconception that safe words are used only when the submissive partners pain thresh hold has been breached but this is not true. The act of submission and also Domination is a very psychological thing. There could be times where a submissive just cannot mentally take anymore and their Dom needs to respect this but it may also get to the point where the sub is unable to use their safeword and their Master needs to be on the lookout for this.

Safe words are not only for the use of a submissive.For example a sub may misbehave to indicate they want harsher treatment. Their Dom may use a safe word to indicate they are not willing to go any further. Also when in a group situation, such as a play party or a dungeon there will be a designated person, or observer who will keep an eye on play and will have a set of safe words (similar to Red, Green, Yellow) that they will use when they believe play is getting out of hand, or a specific incident which breaches the rules occurs.

A submissive should always use their safe word when they feel they need to. If they dont they turn their partner into their unwilling rapist. As harsh as that sounds in my opinion it is just as bad to refuse to say your safeword as it is to have it ignored.

Some people believe that a safe word is not needed, but to me the consequences of not having one are not worth it. Physical injury and permanent damage could occur, mental disorders such as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and to me these risks outweigh any argument that can be used against the use of a safe word.

A safe word keeps everyone involved in play safe. And should be used appropriately.

Respectfully,
girl