Masochism in the workplace

masochist

mas·och·ism n.

1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

This is a general definition of what a masochist is. To me though it dosnt do it justice. Dosnt explain the electric feeling all over your skin when you sit blindfolded waiting for the first stroke of His hand, the way you shiver in anticipation not knowing where it will land or how hard it will be. Then the feeling of pain and pleasure that fills your body after its landed. And it definitely dosnt explain the re-enforced feeling of submission that you feel after every stroke has hit.

In my last post i mentioned briefly some of the toys Master has that inflict pain. Each one of these has a different feeling and leaves a different mark, and some have a very different psychological response.For example when im being spanked by His bare hand its skin to skin contact it makes me feel closer to Him. In comparison when He uses the cane i will flinch away from it, the pain level caused isnt too much but the sensation is something entirely different, and the different parts of the body that He can use it on make it a formidable type of pain. When He uses it on me i feel instantly more submissive, i press myself closer to the ground (or whatever im tied to at the time :P) and i avoid eye contact.

Both ways (and others) of inflicting pain gain a sexual response from me. But its not just the pain that turns me on its the psychological feelings that it causes. The feeling of being completely under His control and being in a situation where He can do anything He wishes with me. And once again it comes back to the feeling of submission. To me it just feels right, no matter what form it takes.

I was asked by a friend, 'how far is too far?' which is a good question. I have never reached a point where ive had to use my safe word because the pain my Master is giving me is too much. But too far, to me is when the pain stops being pleasure or when it all becomes to much in my head. There have been times ive been screaming and crying but when im asked if im ok i still grin and say yes.

In your mind, if feels like your balanced on the edge of panic, of it all being to much then you get pushed a little further and you find that it isnt too much and that your still ok. If i didnt trust my Master, and if i didnt KNOW that my safe word would be respected i doubt i would be able to take as much pain as i do. I feel like i can take more not because i know its not to much, but because He does and He would never hurt me so whatever is happening is ok.


I think, masochism for everyone must be different. For me i love the pain, i love every aspect of it and how gentle Master is afterwards. I love to please Him and this is something that does that, its completely incidental that it also turns me on :P .


`Respectfully,
girl